Saturday, 25 October 2014

The story of Mind, From Yoga Vasishta:

There is a formidable and desolate forest in which there was a man. He was with a thousand hands and eyes. Apparently very confused, he would strike himself violently with iron bars and run about crying. Running about like that he fell in a dark well with a hidden way out.

It took him some time to find his way out and then he slowly got out of the well into a thorny forest. Then again, departing and beating himself often, running and laughing he managed to enter a cool forest of plantain trees. 

but he did not remain there for long. There also he started beating himself and running, he fell into the same well again ! He was as though drunk or semi conscious!!

Vasishta ji says: Having seen this for a long time , i held him by force ... and jolted him to consciousness. I then asked him " What is this ? Who are you? Why do you run in vain ?", thus asked, he said:
"I am no body, i do nothing. You are my enemy. Having seen by you, i am lost! Then , laughing, he gave up his limbs all around"
Thus in that forest, many men like him dwell, wandering about. That forest is there even today.

Sri Rama: Sage! What is that great forest ? What is it that they are intent on doing ?

Vasishta replies:

In this great forest of worldly existence, minds indeed wander about. They are lead by me , by discrimination, to supreme tranquility. Some, by disregarding me, fall down into hells. The forest of plantains is heaven. the affliction by sorrow is the thorn. "I am lost", when he said this, it was the cry of ego ... the feeling of me and mine ! The beatings are the blows of fancies or imaginations. They are indeed caused by oneself. The mind is reduced to a state of bondage only by its own imaginations and impressions. Like a silk worm in the cocoon one binds oneself by one's own imaginations and super-impositions.
This story of mind has been narrated to you. Contemplate on it with the mind , using this discrimination observe the mind and reject the fancies or imaginations of mind.

prahaaraaH kalpanaaghaataaH kriyante svayameva hi |
sa.NkalpavaasanaajaalaiH svairevaayaati bandhanam|
mano liilaamayaiH bandhaiH koshakaarakR^imiryathaa ||

प्रहाराः कल्पनाघाताः क्रियन्ते स्वयमेव हि।
सँकल्पवासनाजालैः स्वैरेवायाति बन्धनम्।
मनो लीलामयैः बन्धैः कोशकारकृमिर्यथा॥

The beatings are the blows of fancies (or imaginations). They are indeed caused by oneself. The mind is reduced to the state of bondage only by its own net of impressions of imaginations, just as the silk worm in the cocoon confines itself by bonds with ease.


prapa~ncotpattireva.N hi baalakaakhyaayikaakramaat |
raajaputraaH trayaH santi shuuraa asati pattane ||

प्रपञ्चोत्पत्तिरेवँ हि बालकाख्यायिकाक्रमात्।
राजपुत्राः त्रयः सन्ति शूरा असति पत्तने॥

The origin of the world is indeed like this, in the manner of a tale narrated to a child (by the mother). There are three brave princes in a non-existent city).

Of these three, two were never born and the other one never indeed was stationed in a womb.

dadR^ishuH gagane vR^ixaan bhuktvaa svaadu ca tatphalam |
sarittritayamaaseduH pathi kallolamaalitam ||

ददृशुः गगने वृक्षान् भुक्त्वा स्वादु च तत्फलम्।
सरित्त्रितयमासेदुः पथि कल्लोलमालितम्॥

Once having gone out with the object of acquiring the best, they saw in the sky trees possessing fruits and having eaten those sweet fruits they reached three rivers crowned by large waves , on the way.
There [amongst those riverse], one was completely dry and there was not even a little water in the other two. Having bathed there and sported in the water, and having drunk the water... The three reached a city about to be (of the future), and the end of the day. There they saw three beautiful mansions. One was without walls and pillars, the other two houses were non-existent. There they obtained three pans (vessels) made of molten gold. In those pans they prepared food and served it to brahmanas who were without mouths ! Then they themselves ate the remnants and stayed there happily.

dhaatryaa hi kathitaametaa.N nirvicaaradhiyaa yathaa |
baalo nishcayamaayaati vicaarojGYitacetasaam |
iya.N sa.Nsaararacanaa.apyavasthitimupaagataa ||

धात्र्या हि कथितामेताँ निर्विचारधिया यथा।
बालो निश्चयमायाति विचारोज्ज्ञितचेतसाम्।
इयँ सँसाररचनाऽप्यवस्थितिमुपागता॥

Just as a child attains conviction in this tale narrated by the mother due to a thoughtless [unreflecting] mind, this creation of the worldly life too has assumed existence to those from whose minds reflection (or enquiry) has left (or dropped).

Saturday, 6 September 2014

Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi's Self Inquiry - Explained...




I was reading an article in one of my favorite web sites and someone has asked: "How to go deeper in Self Inquiry" ?

I want to elaborate on this in the next few posts here.

In short I want to address : What is Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi's Self Inquiry and how it works. Why some people seem to find it too difficult. We need to gain clarity on this.

There are many mistaken notions about Self inquiry which make it seem almost impossible. People have some exotic notions which they keep chasing in the name of Self Inquiry. There are others who make use of those exotic ideas and try to make some disciples. For example suppose a disciple goes to a guru and asks "Sir, how can I dive deeper into my self" ... and the guru says "my child, you have to do a lot more practice", and then adds a big list of practices ... !

But an Ashtavakra would say "Muktha eva asi sarvadha", you are ever free ! There is no diving in! This later statement is not clearly seen while its easy to get hooked to idea of practices as most modern gurus suggest.

Then there are others who say "muktha eva asi sarvadha", copying Ashtavakra style but do not have the methodology to systematically demonstrate that You are the Self !

We will take into account all these issues and try to gain a holistic perspective on Self Inquiry ... rather than understanding it in bits and pieces ... as we proceed with this series of posts on Self Inquiry 



As I already mentioned, there are lot of wrong ideas and notions built around Self Inquiry and in order for us to clearly appreciate what it is, its important to root out the wrong ideas or notions. Some of these might be very unacceptable for many devotees since they have been thinking on these lines for many years! So as I dismiss the notions, I give appropriate references from the works of Ramana, Annamalai Swami and Shankaracharya. We need to take the teaching in a holistic fashion and not in bits and pieces.

Wrong Notion1: Self Inquiry Leads to An Experience Of Realization

As exotic as this seems, its the biggest hurdle in one's way to appreciate Self Inquiry. Annamalai Swami stresses it again and again that we do not need a new experience. So it would not be right for us to think that Self Inquiry is to gain yet another experience. Experience, in any case, is just as good as our interpretation of it. There is nothing like an experience of liberation. Here is a quote from Annamalai Swami:

"Spiritual seekers have a very strange habit: they are always looking for a way to reach, attain,discover,experience, or realize the Self. They try many things because they cannot comprehend that they are already the Self. This is like running around looking for one's eyes with one's own eyes.
Why should you imagine that it is some new experience to be discovered or found ? You are the Self right now, and you are aware of it right now. Do you need a new experience to prove that you exist? The feeling "I am existing" is the Self. You pretend that you are not experiencing it, or cover it up with all kinds of false ideas, and then you run around looking for it as if it were something external to be reached or found. There is a story about someone like thus.
Once a king imagined that he was a poverty-striken peasant. He thought , "if I go and meet the king he may be able to help me by giving some money"
He searched for the king in many places but he could not find him anywhere. Ultimately he became very depressed because his search was not yeilding any results. One day he met a man on the road who asked him why he was so depressed.
He answered, " I am searching for the king. I think that he can solve all my problems and make me happy but I cant find him anywhere".
The man, who already recognized him, said with some astonishment, "But you yourself as the king!"
The king came to his senses and remembered who he was. His problems all ended the moment he remembered his real identity.
You may think that the king was fairly stupid but he had at least enough sense to recognize the truth when it was told to him.
The guru may tell his disciples a thousand times "You are the self, you are not what you imagine youself ot be", they all keep asking the guru for methods and routes to reach the place they are already are."



Friends, in my study of Self Inquiry I started by negating some wrong ideas. I will try and demonstrate that once we drop these wrong ideas and notions, Self Inquiry is very simple and direct means to abide as Self. Lets therefore proceed to look delve deeper into this.

The first idea, I have negated is the notion that "Self Inquiry leads to an Experience". I have taken the help of Annamalai Swami's statements as support to this view. Let me now proceed to the second wrong notion:

Wrong Notion 2: Aim Of Self Inquiry is Thoughtless State.

Self Inquiry is supposed to lead to liberation therefore if we are able to have enough evidence that liberation does not mean thoughtless state, this wrong notion can be dismissed.
So here are the quotes to support this view:

"Nothing can cause bondage for the Jnani because his mind is dead. In the absence of mind he knows himself only as consciousness. Because the mind is dead, he is no longer able to identify himself with the body. But even though he knows that he is not the body, its a fact that the body is still alive. That body will continue to live, and the Jnani will continue to be aware of it, until its own karma is exhausted. Because the jnani is aware of the body, he will also be aware of the thoughts and vasanas that arise in that body. None of these vasanas has the power to cause bondage for him because he never identifies with them"
---> Living by the words of Bhagavan pg 267

infact in a conversation with Ramana, Bhagavan tells Annamalai Swami that Samadhi does not mean thoughtlessness:

"Does Samadhi mean that one is unaware of everything ?" , I asked.
"No," said Bhagavan. "Mediation will go on without our effort. That is Samadhi"
"Then what is Sahaja Samadhi ?", I asked.
Bhagavan answered by saying , " In that state meditation will always be going on. In that State the thought , 'I am meditating' or 'I am not meditating' will not occur".

This tells us that thoughtlessness is not liberation. There are ample evidences in various scriptural texts that explain that thoughtlessness is not liberation. We will cite some of them a little later. Thus it can be safely concluded that the purpose of Self Inquiry is not to become thoughtless. This is a totally wrong notion.

But then, does not Ramana himself say that one should direct one's attention to the root of each thought as it arises until they no more arise ? We will look into Self Inquiry as taught by Ramana in his own words a little later. When we look at statements like this in isolation and miss the holistic teaching of Ramana we will not be able to understand him correctly. I am afraid that some of the popular followers of Ramana have missed the mark ! I will dedicate the next few posts also to establish more clearly that Ramana did not mean elimination of thoughts to be the aim of Self Inquiry --- this is important to properly understand the True teaching of Ramana

Note: It is yet another thing if due to lack of desires thoughts do not arise. To a Jnani presence or absence of thoughts is not a problem.



I have cited a few quotations of Ramana and Annamalai Swami to convey that thoughtlessness is not the aim of Self Inquiry. Let me here present the logical reasons for the same.

1. The teaching is that "I AM NOT THE MIND", if I am not the mind then how does it matter if mind has thoughts or not ?
2. Suppose Ramana says "Practise Self Inquiry to remove your thoughts", then it means Ramana has "I" and "You" notion , without which he could not have come to the conclusion that you have thoughts and would benefit from self inquiry. Some people raise a rather weird objection to this by saying "Ramana had no thoughts, it is you who see him as having thoughts" ... with that, the Ramana who had no thoughts never appears to us , since we always see a Ramana who has thoughts ... so the one who says to us that he has no thoughts would turn out to be actually the one we are seeing as having thoughts ! That is a problem.
3. If thoughts bother me, how can i say i am not mind ?
4. The only way for anyone to know that Ramana had no thoughts is for him to say "I have no thoughts"... and when he says it, there exists another person who has thoughts. So, that would mean Ramana is talking from the perspective of an individual mind .... his own mind .... which has no thoughts ?? Since when my mind still has thoughts, how can he say he has no thoughts unless he sees his mind as separate from my mind , in which case that itself would become a thought !!

So as we see, there can be various logical flaws in concluding that thoughtlessness is liberation. We will shortly also see some evidence from panchadasi , yoga vasishta, ashtavakra gita etc which explain this same point.



Panchadasi says in chapter 7, verse 180:

So what is my understanding that thoughtlessness is not liberation based upon ? There are various quotes... form different scriptural texts. Here , I quote a few. Those that are not yet convinced may have to perform their own unbiased study based on the clues I provide here:

anapahnutya lokaastadindrajaalamida.N tviti |
jaanantyevaanapahnutya bhoga.N maayaatvadhiistathaa||

अनपह्नुत्य लोकास्तदिन्द्रजालमिदँ त्विति।
जानन्त्येवानपह्नुत्य भोगँ मायात्वधीस्तथा॥

anapahnutya : without removing
Lokaah : the world
tad-indrajaalam : the magic show
idam: ths
tu: but
iti thus
jaananti eva : knows very well
anapahnutya : without removing
bhogam enjoyment
mayaatva - dhiH : the knowledge of the illusory nature
tatha : in the same way.

people know a magic show to be unreal, but this knowledge does not involve the destruction of the show. The same way it is possible to know the illusory nature of external objects without causing their disappearance or the cessation of enjoyment from them.

It would be an interesting exercise to read verses following 180, where panchadasi clearly states that removal of duality or thoughtlessness is not liberation.


Annamalai Swami ji says in Final Talks that once the world is known as unreal, it does not matter whether thoughts exist or not. He further says that thoughts vanish according to one's prarabdha karma. They vanish when the corresponding prarabdha karma is exhausted. Mind and body are under the influence of prarabdha karma.


Next I would like to quote Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi himself, from living by the words of Bhagavan:

Q: The mind does not sink into that state even for a second.
A: A strong conviction is necessary that `I am the Self, transcending the mind and the phenomena.'

Q: Nevertheless, the mind proves to be an unyielding obstacle which thwarts any attempts to sink into the Self.
A: What does it matter if the mind is active? It is so only on the substratum of the Self. Hold the Self even during mental activities.


This tells us that Mind being active is not a problem at all. This is one of the clearest presentation of this fact. We further get a very important clue "FIRM CONVICTION THAT I AM SELF, TRANSCENDING THE MIND AND THE PHENOMENA". This is the most essential statement . How can we get this conviction ? We will park this question for the moment. We will address this next.

I would further like to quote from Ashtavakra Gita:

Ashtavakra Gita chapter1, verse 15:

niHsa~Ngo niShkriyo.asi tva.N svaprakaasho nira~njanaH |
ayameva hi te bandhaH samaadhimanutiShThasi ||

निःसङ्गो निष्क्रियोऽसि त्वँ स्वप्रकाशो निरञ्जनः।
अयमेव हि ते बन्धः समाधिमनुतिष्ठसि॥

You are unattached, actionless and self -effulgent, without any taints. "You try to make your mind thoughtless, practise samadhi", this indeed is your bondage !

Why is this bondage ? Because, mind is not me! If i am trying to make the mind calm to see myself as calm, i am perpetuating the ignorance that mind is me!! The teaching is crystal clear.


Even in yoga vasishta, saragu tells his friend "Why do you think remaining thoughtlessness is liberation".

There are many similar references in Yoga vasishta, in the story of chudala also. ..


Tripura Rahasyam has even more interesting argument. In chapter 10, verse 15 onwards we have an interesting conversation. The context is , Hemalekha, the realized wife teaches her husband about Self Knowledge. The husband realizes the truth and remains seated in Samadhi when his wife talks to him. He says:

aho daivahataa bhaasi GYaatvaapi tvamida.N padam |
tadvishraanti.N parityajya mudhaa duHkhaaya ceShTase ||

अहो दैवहता भासि ज्ञात्वापि त्वमिदँ पदम्।
तद्विश्रान्तिँ परित्यज्य मुधा दुःखाय चेष्टसे॥

You appear to be unfortunate, even having known this Truth,
instead of remaining dissolved in the Truth, you seem to leave this Self and involve yourself in the worldly activities which are full of suffering !!

And the answer given by Hemalekha is really wonderful. She says :

naatha te tanna vidita.N pada.N paramapaavanam||
नाथ ते तन्न विदितँ पदँ परमपावनम्॥

Oh Lord! you have not yet known the reality about your Self Completely.

She continues ...

"nimiilyonmiilya vaa netre tatpada.N na samiixyate

निमील्योन्मील्य वा नेत्रे तत्पदँ न समीक्ष्यते

That State of realization, is not lost or gained by the opening or closing of eyes [closing of eyes here is reference to remaining thoughtless]...."

she then says ...

"doing something or not doing something does not affect your Self ! You neither gain Self through doing something nor not doing something ! What is achieved through closing of eyes or doing something or going somewhere [or remaining thoughtless--- closing of eyes here is reference to remaining thoughtless], can that be the Complete One ? The Whole ?"


With all these references if someone still equates thoughtlessness to liberation, then its unfortunate. Wherever there are references to thoughtlessness, its not to say that mind has to be come thoughtless but that Self is ever thoughtless even when there are thoughts in the mind. The thoughts of the mind are like clouds passing before the Space like Awareness. There are never any thoughts in awareness, neither will thoughts ever affect the awareness. This knowledge makes one see oneself as Awarness, ever thoughtless. This is what is meant by remaining thoughtlessness and the advice is not to make mind thoughtless. Even as, to see myself as immortal, does not mean that the body has to become immortal. It just means the knowledge that i am not the body.



We have now given enough quotes and supporting statements to reject out two wrong ideas:
1. Self Inquiry leads to an experience, called the experience of liberation. This is a wrong idea. The idea that a new experience is needed is wrong idea.

2. Self Inquiry leads to thoughtlessness. Thoughtlessness is liberation. This is also a wrong idea. We have given enough quotations in post 5 of this series to substantiate that this is a wrong idea.

So then, what is the purpose of Self Inquiry ? If we understand this properly, its absolutely easy. We will see this aspect in our next post.



We have discussed what is not Self Inquiry till now. Now let us start looking into what is Self Inquiry. To start with , I will present what I understand it as and then substantiate my claims with the aid of quotes of Ramana and various scriptures.

First of all, the essential teaching of Ramana Maharshi is not "Ask Who am I". His essential teaching is "Just Be" and only when someone complained that I cannot "Just Be", did he suggest "Inquire Who cannot just Be".

So , the fundamental teaching is "Just Be" ! When a person cannot Just Remain, Self Inquiry is a "Technique" that can bring him back to Himself. This is what Self Inquiry is about.

As such the external practice itself does not matter. whether I ask "Who am I" or "Naan Yaar" or do not ask any questions but revert back to myself , it should not matter. What I do , externally is not what defines Self Inquiry. Even as ... whether i chant a prayer or not ... if i remain silent "with" God, its prayer. the external chanting , with mind reveling in something else ... is not prayer. Even so , asking "Who am i" without reverting to Self is not self inquiry.

So Self Inquiry is ... lets define ... "Any technique I use to remain with myself" ... a tool for Self Abidance. When I take myself to be the mind, any tool I use to revert back to see myself as untouched by mind is Self inquiry. Whether i say "Who am i" or simply remain as "I AM" , its just the same. External method should not matter. So also, if someone is able to simply chant the name of God to "Just Be" he is doing Self Inquiry. While a person who keeps asking "Who am i" ... in darkness hoping for some answer is confused and is not doing Self Inquiry.

I have just set a context for Self Inquiry. We need a proper definition... a clear and precise one... so for that I use the following statement from Ashtavakra Gita. I can think of no better statement about Self Inquiry :

यदि देहं पृथक् कृत्य चिति विश्राम्य तिष्ठसि ।
अधुनैव सुखी शान्तो बन्धमुक्तो भविष्यसि ॥१-४॥

If you detach yourself from the body and remain relaxed as Awareness, Immediately you experience happiness, calmness and freedom from bondage.

A few people will try to disagree since the source of this statement is from ashtavakra gita and not Ramana's gospel. God bless those who think on those lines. As for me, I will support my claim with through analysis in the posts to follow.

So this definition .... Detaching yourself from body and remaining relaxed in Awareness is called Self Inquiry.

Ramana gave a simple method if detach from body and remain as Awareness. There may be many equivalent ways... its not the external method but the actual "Detachment from body to relax into awareness" that should be called Self Inquiry. Remaining Relaxed in Awareness is called "Just Be". We will see all this clearly and precisely as these posts continue ....


Sunday, 10 August 2014

Remainig Aloof To The Demands Of Mind

Mind always says "I want this and i dont want this"
some times it will say "i dont want world, I want God"
another time it will say "I dont want God, I want world"
both the people are at the same level because both are "commanded" by mind.
A true spiritual person is one who is able to detach himself from mind and who does not see a need to
pacify the mind.

Just because my mind says "I want god and not the world" , I do not become a spiritual person.
I become a spiritual person [in its true sense] when I remain aloof to the demands of the mind.
A true sadhaka is not he who "feels" God is important. Because, The feeling passes away, thats how mind is.
A true sadhaka is the one who has the freedom to remain detached from the mental feelings! In other words
you command the mind and the mind cannot command you!

True Freedom is "being a master of the mind" meaning to be able to stand unattached with the mind.

Vedantic Style Of Living In The Present Moment

I am sure many of us were deeply influenced by the book "Power of Now". I read it too and I loved it.
Living in the present moment is indeed Freedom, Liberated living.

The Vedantic style of living in the present moment is what I call "The inverted style" ... Please see ...

Live in the present moment ... in the now ... is such a simple suggestion, and yet people who knows this do not stand liberated there and then :) --- Vedanta however tackles it in the inverted style ... it asks "What takes you away from the PRESENCE"

The essential teaching of Vedanta is "YOU ARE THE PRESENCE"
and so ... you cannot be anything else.

To understand the difference ... lets try an experiment...
suppose i sit down in a room, close my eyes and decide to not move out. What can move me out of the room?

1. First of all, without a thought i cannot move out.
2. Even if there is a thought i need not move out.

The first case is obvious. Lets take point (2) and look deeper.... if there is a thought i need not move. Even when there is a thought, i need not "Accept" the thought and yet, thoughts seem to carry me away from the Present moment ...

So vedanta asks "Who is this "I" that is getting carried away by thoughts"

This is famously called Self Inquiry and is popularized by Ramana though its present at various places in Vedanta if one is a keen observer.

Who is this "I" that is getting carried away by thoughts ... inquiring ... with the aid of a proper teacher and shastric teaching ... one sees that there is none ! There being no one to move away from present moment ... what else can one be other than the presence !!

To live in the present moment ... one need not become extraordinarily slow ... one need not pause for 10 mins between lines ! One just has to see that there is only the Presence ... there is none else !! Thus living becomes a long holiday ... here and now living itself is meditation!


Friday, 8 August 2014

Without Realization How Can I perceive the mind as unreal ?

Realization of Truth does not take place until one stops believing that manas is me. Unless one starts to look at the manas as a shadow ... it continues to appear real! It is like a shadow taken to be a ghost. The shadow continues to lurk as a ghost unless i decide to stop believing that it is a ghost.

Annamalai Swami, a direct disciple of Ramana, says :

How to give up this false idea that mind is real ?
Annamalai Swami Answers: the same way that you give up any wrong idea. you simply stop believing in it. if this does not happen spontaneously when u hear the truth from a teacher, keep telling yourself "i am not the mind, i am not the mind. There is no mind; there is no mind. consciousness alone exists". if you have firm conviction that this is the truth, one day this firm conviction will mature to the point where it becomes your direct experience.
We perpetuate the idea that world is real, mind is real by believing it. They thrive upon over interest and attention. I give them the reality on the one hand and i myself want to see it as unreal! On the one hand i tell myself that i am mind and on the other hand i look for a way to "Transcend mind" !!
Do we see this please ?

When there are thoughts of agitation ... we say I am agitated.
when there is a relative calm in mind ... we say I am calm.
And we want to keep mind calm always ...
or kill the mind , as if its something Real.

and since we believe it to be so, it appears to be so. If you believe that the shadow is a ghost and see it as a ghost ... it appears like a ghost. if one stops believing its a ghost ... it eventually would be seen as a shadow. There is no ghost.

Mind is not you ... mind is "Witnessed By You" ... Leave it alone ... give it no attention ... it is helpless !!

Saturday, 2 August 2014

Does Prayer Help ?

:) Sri Ramakrishna used to say that one should pray to Lord like a child. Cry and request him for help... Surrendering totally. God provides help.

Have devotion to a single God. Don't jump from one God to Another. Have a single God and a single mantra and regularly repeat.

This is if you have a desire you want to fulfill with God's grace.

But the problem with samsara [worldly objects], is , its like a dilapidated house ... you patch it at one place and it starts to give away from another end. So if a person tries to keep the samsara from falling off, that is impossible... we pray now from one thing ... something else seems to drift ! So we move to that again! This process of praying and waiting for results continues endlessly.

So somewhere ... if one wants to live a life of contentment ... one has to give up everything into the hands of God. Then alone can one discover rest. Because, then one says "You take care of all this as you choose to"... and God takes care in some way... the house may fall and you may end up sitting under a tree, but happy or someone may take you to another house !

so ... here is something very subtle: yes God's Grace helps ... but as long as we seek worldly objects from God ... its like a thristy person seeking to see a glass of water in a mirror. God might show the glass of water in the mirror but it wont quench the thirst! If you want true quenching of thirst ... give up running after the worldly objects and rest in the embrace of God. That embrace is free , you dont even have to pray.